It is quite common to see people, men in particular who say "I hate drama". I have heard this also from elderly women. Before I plunge in, let me tell you this, these are the very people who actually love or even crave drama regardless of how dramatic they are.
It has taken me quite a while to understand this to a considerable depth. Now, my understanding need not necessarily correlate with the facts of the psychology textbook, but I find my analysis to work pretty well. But let me start with the positives.
For a very long time, I have been a dramatic person. So much that my paediatrician called me the heir of Shakespeare (no kidding!). I eventually grew up, and I guess I have also grown old. In these years, I have been up to things that involved a lot of monologues with a varied audience. Recently, I realized that I am not bad at public speaking when I was giving suggestions to a friend. But all this did not come in a miraculous moment of stepping on the stage, nor any formal or informal education. My stage was everywhere. I'd be animated and dramatic whether I am talking to my mom or to an audience over 300 people or even while giving a presentation, and worse, even while I am thinking. Well, thinking is a kind of rehearsal, and it needs seriousness in my defence! Especially if you are a teacher. Sit back and recollect the teachers you remember the most with a sense of fondness. Although they can be categorized for your interest in them for their looks, their partiality towards you, and whatever paramets you might set. But the ones who have taught you lessons from and out of the book tend to hold a mighty position in your memory. These teachers are usually the ones who make good use of the stage, the board, emote effectively, have a powerful voice and a striking body language. You just cannot take your eyes off them, and they have your undivided attention! They actually make an impact in your life. The same holds good with people in the cinema/theatre industries. Such people are in a state of constant rehearsal when not in their stage. Many introverts are splendid performers. I, somehow fall in the ambivert category, implying that I get the best and worst of both worlds.
Now, there are people who hate drama. These are people who call themselves too mature for all this. Compare these folks with people who are actually mature. I have been called immature for my sense of drama. I have also made impact in people's lives. Now, people don't like you if you are in a perennial state of performance. Well, some who choose to not like you, won't like you like this. Whereas, I also do remember the random strangers who eventually became good friends thanks to my uninhibited performances in public places.
I actually went in pursuit of understanding this. At one point, I felt that people with no taste for drama are the ones who have a bland life, and no taste in life. I still believe this, and I strongly recommend people reading this to throw back this line at people who say they don't like you being dramatic. They have synonyms for you, drama queen, melodrama queen, dramebaaz and what not. I have heard quite a lot! As a dramebaz, I have also been offended deeply by the detailed hatred thrown at me for what I was.
I asked a friend who happens to hold a degree in child psychology. I was going through quite a turmoil at that phase in my life. I asked him what it meant to be mature, because the so called mature people didn't like me feeling anything at all. He gave me an explanation that put me at ease and actually helped me heal myself. I eventually noticed that really mature don't call themselves mature. Because, d'uh they are, and the language of maturity is action.
Now let me get closer to what causes this phenomenon. It is weakness. Yes, simple plain weakness. If you are weak or find someone who is weak, come to terms with it.
In this state of weakness, one is easily provoked, easily hurt, easily pleased, easily elated. Now, it takes time for these people come to a balance.
Coming to terms with it is a major step in healing and recovery. Although it sounds great that you can be easily pleased and kept happy, you can also fall down and get hurt very bad very easily. If you understand you cannot lift a bag that weighs 1000 kgs, you won't bother picking it up. Similarly if you come to terms with your weakness, you won't bother putting yourself in situations that will damage you. I am not recommending you to be a pessimist and not do anything at all because of this weakness. Remember, I call it weakness and not disability. I have also been called mature in quite a few aspects of life. I have had the good fortune of witnessing mature people. They do go through ups and downs, they do enjoy life, they do get happy. But they don't need someone else to make them happy. They allow all the good and bad of life to pass through them with same ease. It is their ability to handle the ups and downs and not get overwhelmed as much as a weak person would.
If I have found the cause, have I found the solution? Being a weak person myself, I cannot give a solution, but only make assumptions. I do believe that you will find ways to overcome this weakness by taking help of stronger people. If you don't have access to stronger people, you could meditate. Or, you could challenge your weakness bit by bit to become stronger by the day and eventually a strong person. There are also several self help books. But don't just stick to books. Go out and put yourself there, because your weakness is also your strength. You can impact several lives!
It has taken me quite a while to understand this to a considerable depth. Now, my understanding need not necessarily correlate with the facts of the psychology textbook, but I find my analysis to work pretty well. But let me start with the positives.
For a very long time, I have been a dramatic person. So much that my paediatrician called me the heir of Shakespeare (no kidding!). I eventually grew up, and I guess I have also grown old. In these years, I have been up to things that involved a lot of monologues with a varied audience. Recently, I realized that I am not bad at public speaking when I was giving suggestions to a friend. But all this did not come in a miraculous moment of stepping on the stage, nor any formal or informal education. My stage was everywhere. I'd be animated and dramatic whether I am talking to my mom or to an audience over 300 people or even while giving a presentation, and worse, even while I am thinking. Well, thinking is a kind of rehearsal, and it needs seriousness in my defence! Especially if you are a teacher. Sit back and recollect the teachers you remember the most with a sense of fondness. Although they can be categorized for your interest in them for their looks, their partiality towards you, and whatever paramets you might set. But the ones who have taught you lessons from and out of the book tend to hold a mighty position in your memory. These teachers are usually the ones who make good use of the stage, the board, emote effectively, have a powerful voice and a striking body language. You just cannot take your eyes off them, and they have your undivided attention! They actually make an impact in your life. The same holds good with people in the cinema/theatre industries. Such people are in a state of constant rehearsal when not in their stage. Many introverts are splendid performers. I, somehow fall in the ambivert category, implying that I get the best and worst of both worlds.
Now, there are people who hate drama. These are people who call themselves too mature for all this. Compare these folks with people who are actually mature. I have been called immature for my sense of drama. I have also made impact in people's lives. Now, people don't like you if you are in a perennial state of performance. Well, some who choose to not like you, won't like you like this. Whereas, I also do remember the random strangers who eventually became good friends thanks to my uninhibited performances in public places.
I actually went in pursuit of understanding this. At one point, I felt that people with no taste for drama are the ones who have a bland life, and no taste in life. I still believe this, and I strongly recommend people reading this to throw back this line at people who say they don't like you being dramatic. They have synonyms for you, drama queen, melodrama queen, dramebaaz and what not. I have heard quite a lot! As a dramebaz, I have also been offended deeply by the detailed hatred thrown at me for what I was.
I asked a friend who happens to hold a degree in child psychology. I was going through quite a turmoil at that phase in my life. I asked him what it meant to be mature, because the so called mature people didn't like me feeling anything at all. He gave me an explanation that put me at ease and actually helped me heal myself. I eventually noticed that really mature don't call themselves mature. Because, d'uh they are, and the language of maturity is action.
Now let me get closer to what causes this phenomenon. It is weakness. Yes, simple plain weakness. If you are weak or find someone who is weak, come to terms with it.
In this state of weakness, one is easily provoked, easily hurt, easily pleased, easily elated. Now, it takes time for these people come to a balance.
Coming to terms with it is a major step in healing and recovery. Although it sounds great that you can be easily pleased and kept happy, you can also fall down and get hurt very bad very easily. If you understand you cannot lift a bag that weighs 1000 kgs, you won't bother picking it up. Similarly if you come to terms with your weakness, you won't bother putting yourself in situations that will damage you. I am not recommending you to be a pessimist and not do anything at all because of this weakness. Remember, I call it weakness and not disability. I have also been called mature in quite a few aspects of life. I have had the good fortune of witnessing mature people. They do go through ups and downs, they do enjoy life, they do get happy. But they don't need someone else to make them happy. They allow all the good and bad of life to pass through them with same ease. It is their ability to handle the ups and downs and not get overwhelmed as much as a weak person would.
If I have found the cause, have I found the solution? Being a weak person myself, I cannot give a solution, but only make assumptions. I do believe that you will find ways to overcome this weakness by taking help of stronger people. If you don't have access to stronger people, you could meditate. Or, you could challenge your weakness bit by bit to become stronger by the day and eventually a strong person. There are also several self help books. But don't just stick to books. Go out and put yourself there, because your weakness is also your strength. You can impact several lives!
