Le prix du Pardon- the price of forgiveness is a movie that i saw today in Alliance Francaise. It is an African movie with french subtitles.
I could follow only like 85% of the dialogues.
It was a nice movie. A movie where i learnt that no sacrifice/prayer can equate to hard work/ effort.
The only sacrifices that would work out would be sacrifice of laziness, sacrifice of fear, sacrifice of sleep, sacrifice of ignorance.
And with these, one would harvest wealth, fame, love, protection and every thing that you need to be contended in life.
Another thing that i learnt in the movie was that forgiveness is the best punishment for true love. That is the biggest thing your enemy "pays" to hurt/offend you.
Of all, it takes a woman to forgive- I am glad that i belong to the forgiving group of individuals in the society.
For all those women out there who fear to forgive- believe me its the most powerful punishment you can ever give.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
The Nostalgia
When i went to the temple in the morning before my classes, i saw the same children who were running around in bright coloured dresses seriously walking by in their uniform- evidently vacations have ended and school has reopened again.
It was really a nostalgic moment. I was reminded as to how i felt on the school reopening day. My school would generally reopen on the 12th of june- they somehow love that number 12-6. by the tenth of june, we would go to school buy the new books, a new uniform, new shoes, new lunch box, new everything as a ransom to go back to study.
The first day is generally a half working day. A new classroom, a new class teacher, same old friends grown up a year older than before, some grown more adamant, some really grown out, everyone equally excited and enthusiastic.
That was the only day in the entire academic year when i liked to eat a nice lunch, but as it would be a half day, i would return home for lunch. I don't remember even one day where i was enthusiastic about my lunch. As i said earlier in some post, that's perhaps the reason why i turned myself into a good cook. Well now there's lot of good food, but no hunger to eat it.(Life goes on).
The first day was the special day where my interest towards studying every subject was at its peak!
When we shifted to bowenpally, we started enjoying a thrill to scare every newbie coming in by explaining them the army style punishment of school when the hair was not well oiled, or nails were not trim, or the shoe polish(we were made to carry a cloth in our pocket to keep the shoe really shiny eternally within the school campus)
Then when we came to high school, we grew out of it and used to be amused at the way the elementary level kids would scare the newbies.
about 13 years of school education has finished 5 years back, and it all seems like a quickly forgotten midnight dream.
I have not been able to visit school after i wrote my 10th class exam. I am in touch only with a few friends who have been real good friends then and remain to be the same even now.
Today, theres a reunion- but i am not going to be attending it as i am uncomfortable about the location. And its just that i want to be left alone now.
I m really surprised as to how i dont miss myself in a school uniform, waiting for my bus, or running behind it when i almost miss it(reallly funny moments). May be it is because i have accepted my life now as agrown up going to work every morning, doing all things for myself and my home. I am now all set to see myself going to work typically in the morning and return back home with a lot of things to share with people.
Work has begun and i m enjoying it.
but the nostalgic moments of school bring about a long lost childish smile onto my face even today. that is just enough for me to cherish.
It was really a nostalgic moment. I was reminded as to how i felt on the school reopening day. My school would generally reopen on the 12th of june- they somehow love that number 12-6. by the tenth of june, we would go to school buy the new books, a new uniform, new shoes, new lunch box, new everything as a ransom to go back to study.
The first day is generally a half working day. A new classroom, a new class teacher, same old friends grown up a year older than before, some grown more adamant, some really grown out, everyone equally excited and enthusiastic.
That was the only day in the entire academic year when i liked to eat a nice lunch, but as it would be a half day, i would return home for lunch. I don't remember even one day where i was enthusiastic about my lunch. As i said earlier in some post, that's perhaps the reason why i turned myself into a good cook. Well now there's lot of good food, but no hunger to eat it.(Life goes on).
The first day was the special day where my interest towards studying every subject was at its peak!
When we shifted to bowenpally, we started enjoying a thrill to scare every newbie coming in by explaining them the army style punishment of school when the hair was not well oiled, or nails were not trim, or the shoe polish(we were made to carry a cloth in our pocket to keep the shoe really shiny eternally within the school campus)
Then when we came to high school, we grew out of it and used to be amused at the way the elementary level kids would scare the newbies.
about 13 years of school education has finished 5 years back, and it all seems like a quickly forgotten midnight dream.
I have not been able to visit school after i wrote my 10th class exam. I am in touch only with a few friends who have been real good friends then and remain to be the same even now.
Today, theres a reunion- but i am not going to be attending it as i am uncomfortable about the location. And its just that i want to be left alone now.
I m really surprised as to how i dont miss myself in a school uniform, waiting for my bus, or running behind it when i almost miss it(reallly funny moments). May be it is because i have accepted my life now as agrown up going to work every morning, doing all things for myself and my home. I am now all set to see myself going to work typically in the morning and return back home with a lot of things to share with people.
Work has begun and i m enjoying it.
but the nostalgic moments of school bring about a long lost childish smile onto my face even today. that is just enough for me to cherish.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Liberation!!!
Whenever I am out of a situation, I never rationalize it to convince myself that I m out because it was not worth me.
I have now been out of two situations which have something in common that it reminded me of my real self and showed me what I am and what my purpose here is. (I have had n number of disappointments, but by God’s grace I have grown out of it gracefully with dignity)
Now Google, I never expected I will go ahead when I even applied for that job. But I went till the top most level. But I did not get through. I felt bad, I cried- typical of a woman I cried that I am not there.
I will definitely not tell that Google did not deserve me. It is blasphemy if I say that. But what made me happy and convinced me was about the job profile. It was a profile that wouldn’t let me go ahead with my ultimate passion in the best possible way.
Another situation I have recently faced. Well, I cried again. The situation was a thorough contrast of what happened to me with Google. (Believe me the poem I wrote in despair about not getting a job in Google reduced my friend to tears). But deep within my heart in my conscience, I am happy that I have not cried for the same reason. I couldn’t help myself in the situation till I learnt that I have a potential Francisco D’Anconia life. And it is the best type of life one can ever live according to me. I am yet to live that life and see a john galt life. ” What am I trying to get out of life then?” I asked myself. “added trouble, pain and devastation” is what my mind voice told me.
I have kind of a paused a good going Francisco life. But now with the resources that I have with me which I can utilize for the best, I am going to life well. After all the cliché really means itself by saying “Its one life to live!”
If I am to answer a question that I had once asked “what is the greatest thing you learnt from an enemy?” (In the depth of troubles, I forgot that I was the one who at once asked such a bold question)
“From the events, I learn my ultimate purpose of life. And that life hasn’t given up on me. Life is waiting, to be with it the way I want- Like Francisco of Atlas Shrugged.”
I have now been out of two situations which have something in common that it reminded me of my real self and showed me what I am and what my purpose here is. (I have had n number of disappointments, but by God’s grace I have grown out of it gracefully with dignity)
Now Google, I never expected I will go ahead when I even applied for that job. But I went till the top most level. But I did not get through. I felt bad, I cried- typical of a woman I cried that I am not there.
I will definitely not tell that Google did not deserve me. It is blasphemy if I say that. But what made me happy and convinced me was about the job profile. It was a profile that wouldn’t let me go ahead with my ultimate passion in the best possible way.
Another situation I have recently faced. Well, I cried again. The situation was a thorough contrast of what happened to me with Google. (Believe me the poem I wrote in despair about not getting a job in Google reduced my friend to tears). But deep within my heart in my conscience, I am happy that I have not cried for the same reason. I couldn’t help myself in the situation till I learnt that I have a potential Francisco D’Anconia life. And it is the best type of life one can ever live according to me. I am yet to live that life and see a john galt life. ” What am I trying to get out of life then?” I asked myself. “added trouble, pain and devastation” is what my mind voice told me.
I have kind of a paused a good going Francisco life. But now with the resources that I have with me which I can utilize for the best, I am going to life well. After all the cliché really means itself by saying “Its one life to live!”
If I am to answer a question that I had once asked “what is the greatest thing you learnt from an enemy?” (In the depth of troubles, I forgot that I was the one who at once asked such a bold question)
“From the events, I learn my ultimate purpose of life. And that life hasn’t given up on me. Life is waiting, to be with it the way I want- Like Francisco of Atlas Shrugged.”
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Career!!!!
Alright, I am here with news to confront!
i have shifted myself from biotech field to French!
The day i made this decision i was already a major and i knew my duties and responsiblities in life when i made this decision.
My main goal in this field happens to see myself as a professor, and on my way there, i will be interacting my level best with the language in every possible way. It will surely take me sometime to settle down and establish myself comfortably. It cannot be rapid and sudden and i will let it take its time. For no system in the existence can accept anything sudden.
Yesterday i was talking out to my baba brother about the sad and upsetting things at my end and i had french as my only solace to share some good piece of news from my end. this brother of mine is a tamilian like me who is from hubli/pune. he was very happy that i am doing a really good thing.
then we were talking about using the keyboard to write french online. then we were talking about the time somewhere in the 1970s where tamilians revolted against hindi. that bit of conversation did not let me sleep all night. it ignited that spark of thought in me as to how all it led me to trouble.
today on my way back home from classes, i spoke to an old lady in the apartment who is like a grandmother to me. i happened to tell her about french, and she was happy too. she was sharing some interesting facts from her side. and believe me she is a lady who ignites a forest fire of thoughts inside my head.
about my career option, i ve told about 12 people till now. 5 of them are people who are natives of chennai, and 3 of them are people who are not natives of chennai but kinda settled there for their own reasons. the rest are hyderabadis besides my baba brother. Everyone were really excited about my decision. One of the hyderabadi was ready to sponsor me a trip to France for me to explore more and more of it. obviously these people knew what i could do, and knew that what i have decided makes sense.
B-U-T.... 5 out of 5 chennai native folks have reacted bad and looked down at me wierd.
few of the things that i was said:
1 whats the point? why cant you do something like Mcom instead?
2 why do you want to study higher?
3 what on earth can you do with french?
4 are u nuts?
last but not the least, the question that shook my core and made me lose my sleep for about 3 nights, and peace for a few days (i am yet to recover from the shock of that question though)
* what will you do if you are unemployed at the end of this?
this question came in a bombarding way, and it shot me at my core that i really could not answer what i wanted to.
Today my conversation with my new grandma has me feel so confident. Believe me a lady in her 60s, knows so much about what all one can do with a foreign language.
i realized that how i can let my whole life radiate itself with french. well, apparently she says that one day french is going to take over english, and her grandson is learning french at the age of 3!
this person here is also a tamilian. But it was really shocking that tamilians in chennai are so shallow, dim and rigid. why is it that one cant think of using any talent well.
she told me atleast 15 things that i dint know myself what all i can do with french.
Being a tamilian, i know quite a few languages, where my first language in school was hindi, i enjoy speaking in hindi too.
But it is sad that a Tamilian in general is VERY rigid towards exploring a new language.
I am convicing myself that a tamilian who cannot accept his/her own national language hindi can never accept a foreign language.
At this point i am reminded of a wonderful story that i came across when i was doing my degree when we were talking about lateral thinking, we were told about a person got successfully well placed when he gave 87 uses of a pencil!!!!!!
No matter what profession one chooses, you must give your heart and soul to it and do it well.
My English professor told us this you can even chose to be a sweeper. but make sure that whenever someone thinks of cleanliness, they think of you.
This is a marked difference in the mentality of a hyderabadi i see compared to people of other places.
despite the many hyderabadi jokes where i d associate myself with, i am proud to be a broad minded, sensible, and an independent thinker- A Hyderabadi!!!!
What am i going to do now?-
i wont give a damn to people who don't value my deep inner likings, and will go ahead with french as it is the only solace i now have in my life.
so now, i m in love with my profession!
i have shifted myself from biotech field to French!
The day i made this decision i was already a major and i knew my duties and responsiblities in life when i made this decision.
My main goal in this field happens to see myself as a professor, and on my way there, i will be interacting my level best with the language in every possible way. It will surely take me sometime to settle down and establish myself comfortably. It cannot be rapid and sudden and i will let it take its time. For no system in the existence can accept anything sudden.
Yesterday i was talking out to my baba brother about the sad and upsetting things at my end and i had french as my only solace to share some good piece of news from my end. this brother of mine is a tamilian like me who is from hubli/pune. he was very happy that i am doing a really good thing.
then we were talking about using the keyboard to write french online. then we were talking about the time somewhere in the 1970s where tamilians revolted against hindi. that bit of conversation did not let me sleep all night. it ignited that spark of thought in me as to how all it led me to trouble.
today on my way back home from classes, i spoke to an old lady in the apartment who is like a grandmother to me. i happened to tell her about french, and she was happy too. she was sharing some interesting facts from her side. and believe me she is a lady who ignites a forest fire of thoughts inside my head.
about my career option, i ve told about 12 people till now. 5 of them are people who are natives of chennai, and 3 of them are people who are not natives of chennai but kinda settled there for their own reasons. the rest are hyderabadis besides my baba brother. Everyone were really excited about my decision. One of the hyderabadi was ready to sponsor me a trip to France for me to explore more and more of it. obviously these people knew what i could do, and knew that what i have decided makes sense.
B-U-T.... 5 out of 5 chennai native folks have reacted bad and looked down at me wierd.
few of the things that i was said:
1 whats the point? why cant you do something like Mcom instead?
2 why do you want to study higher?
3 what on earth can you do with french?
4 are u nuts?
last but not the least, the question that shook my core and made me lose my sleep for about 3 nights, and peace for a few days (i am yet to recover from the shock of that question though)
* what will you do if you are unemployed at the end of this?
this question came in a bombarding way, and it shot me at my core that i really could not answer what i wanted to.
Today my conversation with my new grandma has me feel so confident. Believe me a lady in her 60s, knows so much about what all one can do with a foreign language.
i realized that how i can let my whole life radiate itself with french. well, apparently she says that one day french is going to take over english, and her grandson is learning french at the age of 3!
this person here is also a tamilian. But it was really shocking that tamilians in chennai are so shallow, dim and rigid. why is it that one cant think of using any talent well.
she told me atleast 15 things that i dint know myself what all i can do with french.
Being a tamilian, i know quite a few languages, where my first language in school was hindi, i enjoy speaking in hindi too.
But it is sad that a Tamilian in general is VERY rigid towards exploring a new language.
I am convicing myself that a tamilian who cannot accept his/her own national language hindi can never accept a foreign language.
At this point i am reminded of a wonderful story that i came across when i was doing my degree when we were talking about lateral thinking, we were told about a person got successfully well placed when he gave 87 uses of a pencil!!!!!!
No matter what profession one chooses, you must give your heart and soul to it and do it well.
My English professor told us this you can even chose to be a sweeper. but make sure that whenever someone thinks of cleanliness, they think of you.
This is a marked difference in the mentality of a hyderabadi i see compared to people of other places.
despite the many hyderabadi jokes where i d associate myself with, i am proud to be a broad minded, sensible, and an independent thinker- A Hyderabadi!!!!
What am i going to do now?-
i wont give a damn to people who don't value my deep inner likings, and will go ahead with french as it is the only solace i now have in my life.
so now, i m in love with my profession!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Philosophical Gibberish
It has been ages since i have had the net working properly at home. Though i wanted to blog a LOT, i ve only been able to write some random gibberish and save them as word documents.
Now hoping that i will have the net working normally, i will write atleast one a day.
whats new at my end?
the same old stuff- disappointment. Nah- not bothered mentioning what it is. At the end of the whole thing, i realized that disappointments are not new to me.
as usual i spent a LOT of time on retrospection as to where i went wrong. (well i dint just face one disappointment in this patch of time)
i was pondering about events n situations out of which i was thrown out.
heres this new bit of philosophy:
you are thrown out of something under 2 conditions. you are either
1 disqualified or
2 overqualified.
if you are disqualified, you deserve the worst, and must take time to work really hard.
if you are overqualified, you should not feel bad for quitting, but for chosing the wrong situation.
Now hoping that i will have the net working normally, i will write atleast one a day.
whats new at my end?
the same old stuff- disappointment. Nah- not bothered mentioning what it is. At the end of the whole thing, i realized that disappointments are not new to me.
as usual i spent a LOT of time on retrospection as to where i went wrong. (well i dint just face one disappointment in this patch of time)
i was pondering about events n situations out of which i was thrown out.
heres this new bit of philosophy:
you are thrown out of something under 2 conditions. you are either
1 disqualified or
2 overqualified.
if you are disqualified, you deserve the worst, and must take time to work really hard.
if you are overqualified, you should not feel bad for quitting, but for chosing the wrong situation.
The Current Track
A typical stage of life I am going through- stuck in a crossroad. And when I was wondering with confusion as to which road I should choose, I came across this song from the movie “guru”
This is literally translated:
“I have been awake since long; let me sleep for a while. Where the night is still left, let the dawn set itself.
All the dreams that I have abandoned halfway, let me see them getting fulfilled again in my sleep”
I almost started this blog to vent out how I felt, but the current track spoke to me what I exactly need.
I am going to chase my dreams that I dared to dream when I finished my exams.
The characters of my novels, my guitar and a lot more things are waiting for me.
What I went through shall come on to me when the dawn sets itself after I battle out the darkness.
My dreams are the only ones that are going to protect me from nightmares- so I choose to be with them and fight the darkness by fulfilling them. Besides, it doesn’t stop with my dream. I have dreams of my parents unfulfilled, and that is my responsibility.
Reminds me of the lyric from a famous band ABBA in the song “I have a dream” “Pushing through the darkness - still another mile.” However long it goes, it is my life for me to fight it out.
This is literally translated:
“I have been awake since long; let me sleep for a while. Where the night is still left, let the dawn set itself.
All the dreams that I have abandoned halfway, let me see them getting fulfilled again in my sleep”
I almost started this blog to vent out how I felt, but the current track spoke to me what I exactly need.
I am going to chase my dreams that I dared to dream when I finished my exams.
The characters of my novels, my guitar and a lot more things are waiting for me.
What I went through shall come on to me when the dawn sets itself after I battle out the darkness.
My dreams are the only ones that are going to protect me from nightmares- so I choose to be with them and fight the darkness by fulfilling them. Besides, it doesn’t stop with my dream. I have dreams of my parents unfulfilled, and that is my responsibility.
Reminds me of the lyric from a famous band ABBA in the song “I have a dream” “Pushing through the darkness - still another mile.” However long it goes, it is my life for me to fight it out.
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