We are at an age where our identity is not our family name nor the achievements/history of the family, but what we are! our studies, our looks, our work.
I would not want to say that this change is bad. I in fact like this change. There are several reasons that such criteria are measures of an identity.
Building a new generation identity, and creating a niche is a completely self made process, and most of the times not an easy task. But doing all this for the people who are judgmental is total crap!
Living vs surviving: This somehow is a major point of ponder for me over the last month. Of how people have different ways to look at life and actually live it.
I just finished reading nandhini's post on marriage, and I relate a lot of the content to acceptance.
Acceptance has a lot to do with personal and professional life.
There is a friend of mine, who is a geek/nerd, who decided to teach engineering students immediately after graduating. It is his life, his choice. But the problem started when he decided he was old enough to have a partner. He was not chosen by people (#Indian arranged marriages ! ), because he did not go to work for an IT company to earn few more lakhs than he actually does.
One fine day when he was talking to my mom about this, he said
"well yes aunty, I agree I could mint money in an IT firm, but the women are too dim to understand that I have something that those guys don't have : the time to spend the money I earn !"
Such a solid point it was !
One has to work hard no matter what their work is. Period !
Then I happened to meet a colleague who was telling that going to an IT firm was absolutely of no use when he got all that he wanted with what he is doing now.
Another colleague whom I immediately took into a close circle, told me "I am not rich, neither is my husband. He works as an architect in a small firm, doesn't earn much. But you see he always earns something for sure, and is not in an eternal threat" #Most valid point !
Another friend (a senior actually) "My brother works in the UK, earns a whopping salary, whereas I started my work here in a very small scale, and over the years, today I earn more than my friends. But if you compare me and my brother, I have something he doesn't- Surety of job, and peace of mind ! "
A small statistics here about Indian men who earn less (< 5/ 8lakhs per anum): These are the men who don't care whether the woman works or not. The ones who earn less than 5 lakhs on the other hand prefer their woman not working at all and take care of her like a queen. Whereas the ones who earn anything more than 8 (there might be some rare exceptions), are firm that their woman should earn (her own) money !
So you see how too much money makes you greedy for more, and how you just survive on probabilities on having a better project, more money, a rich wife, or a supposedly big life. Whereas people who find happiness in every little thing, actually live.
I don't mean to say that you need to earn less to live. You need to find your time to live. You can even earn lakhs or crores a year, and still know where to draw a line, to "live". But for some strange reason most of us are madly driven into building a reputation of earning big, than living big, and I can very safely say that the ones in a rush are the ones who are least happy or peaceful. Having read this, decide if you see yourself surviving the several competitions or living the real life
I would not want to say that this change is bad. I in fact like this change. There are several reasons that such criteria are measures of an identity.
Building a new generation identity, and creating a niche is a completely self made process, and most of the times not an easy task. But doing all this for the people who are judgmental is total crap!
Living vs surviving: This somehow is a major point of ponder for me over the last month. Of how people have different ways to look at life and actually live it.
I just finished reading nandhini's post on marriage, and I relate a lot of the content to acceptance.
Acceptance has a lot to do with personal and professional life.
There is a friend of mine, who is a geek/nerd, who decided to teach engineering students immediately after graduating. It is his life, his choice. But the problem started when he decided he was old enough to have a partner. He was not chosen by people (#Indian arranged marriages ! ), because he did not go to work for an IT company to earn few more lakhs than he actually does.
One fine day when he was talking to my mom about this, he said
"well yes aunty, I agree I could mint money in an IT firm, but the women are too dim to understand that I have something that those guys don't have : the time to spend the money I earn !"
Such a solid point it was !
One has to work hard no matter what their work is. Period !
Then I happened to meet a colleague who was telling that going to an IT firm was absolutely of no use when he got all that he wanted with what he is doing now.
Another colleague whom I immediately took into a close circle, told me "I am not rich, neither is my husband. He works as an architect in a small firm, doesn't earn much. But you see he always earns something for sure, and is not in an eternal threat" #Most valid point !
Another friend (a senior actually) "My brother works in the UK, earns a whopping salary, whereas I started my work here in a very small scale, and over the years, today I earn more than my friends. But if you compare me and my brother, I have something he doesn't- Surety of job, and peace of mind ! "
A small statistics here about Indian men who earn less (< 5/ 8lakhs per anum): These are the men who don't care whether the woman works or not. The ones who earn less than 5 lakhs on the other hand prefer their woman not working at all and take care of her like a queen. Whereas the ones who earn anything more than 8 (there might be some rare exceptions), are firm that their woman should earn (her own) money !
So you see how too much money makes you greedy for more, and how you just survive on probabilities on having a better project, more money, a rich wife, or a supposedly big life. Whereas people who find happiness in every little thing, actually live.
I don't mean to say that you need to earn less to live. You need to find your time to live. You can even earn lakhs or crores a year, and still know where to draw a line, to "live". But for some strange reason most of us are madly driven into building a reputation of earning big, than living big, and I can very safely say that the ones in a rush are the ones who are least happy or peaceful. Having read this, decide if you see yourself surviving the several competitions or living the real life
4 comments:
I'm not too sure of your analysis Amzuda :)
I mean, a man who earns 7-8 LPA usually doesn't want his wife to go out and earn.. While a guy earning 4-5 LPA would probably ask his wife to keep working even after getting married! Reason? Probably the financially lesser-earning guy may have big dreams - Car, own house, best education for the children etc. And one-man salary might not be enough all the time for big aspirations like these.. So essentially, he'd request the wife to continue to work.
On the other hand - the guy who earns well might not want his wife to earn 'coz he's got it all. They'd be financially well off. Only for treating his pride and prestige, he might expect his lady to be EQUALLY educated, financially having more or less the same background (Read: Status factor in the society) All he'd expect from her on a matrimonial perspective would be a loving and caring family from her! (Usually)
Just sharing my thoughts.
What you have said here is the ideal situation where things would happen this way. But the reality is not that. You know my source of this information, and I was pretty much surprised to find it contrary.
loving, caring and all have become totally cliché nowadays #the sad truth.
Is your source of information the same as the one whom I think it is? #Confused.
Loving, caring and all totally cliched? What! There's no point earning big when you don't have time to spend it for yourself and your closest circle of people, don't you think? And well, yes, there is the greed to earn more and more. I get it. Always thought that the man who earns lesser would ask his woman to earn as well.. Middle-class philosophy!
Check your inbox for the source !
See the point is that I am with you, and your ideas. But what I wanted to convey was this (what we both think) is natural, and how this has been altered and changed in these new times, and how a painful truth it is.
According to me, what screws lives today is letting money play a role in emotions.
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