Thiniking: peut-etre

Life is as pathetic as it can be. Rather I have given it that chance. I was so freaked out, that I felt like a schizophrenic! I felt like throwing away my books and papers in the air and standing on top of the teacher’s table (or that office table) and sing some sleazy line or dance to some weird sound clips in my mind(save yourself… don’t ask me what that was )
But I had no guts to do it (good for me and the others), because there were so many things I am capable of doing to get applause and I gave not pursued it well. To be more honest, as I realized they did not grow with me. But I was such an amateur that I would have got terrified stares or stationery (or JUST anything one could grab hold of) thrown at me.

Following a series of videos, movies, music clips, speeches, articles and what not about following ones passion, here I am writing about the place I find happiness.
I have been following quite a few of them, and the one that made sure I make a blog entry about it was a movie “Julie and Julia”. When I don’t have mom at home, the best thing for me to do is to watch TV. Coz when she is around and finds me watching something English she takes it for granted its porn or something totally inappropriate to me. She will never grow up and come to realization that such things wont be aired on TV, and neither will she understand that I am an adult, nor that non Indian movies actually make sense. So here is what the movie reinforced into me. 
 It’s about talent, skill, hobby, like and love. I have never been consistent in pursuing anything that I took up in life. On estimation, if I had done well everything that I had started, or at least let me say 60% of the things I started, I would have been a prodigy, and found myself popular, successful, but most importantly happy!
It’s about trouver le Bonheur that I m talking about here. If at all there is something I could cling onto that would be there for me when I am in need of support, or just hang on and nothing more.
The answer was a 90% no. the only solace I have in life as of today is the French language. There are so many other things which I have left so far behind that they’ve not grown with me.
Hobbies become talent when they grow with you. You need to give it time and dedication for it to grow. And once it grows, it will be the wall of support.
Considering today is the best day, I ve decided to make a start with giving time and dedication to things that could possibly support me in my life. May be I m selfish, or may be not. But I just don’t want to grow alone. You might not always have your people with you forever. But certain assets would prove to be with you all life, and be with you when you need it whether you know it or not.
So here I begin doing everything I like, and love, the things that deserve to grow along with me.
End result: I m being as crazy I can/want to be in my room. Singing loud, dancing, strumming the guitar, playing the harmonica

Is the ado going away?

Here i am at an absolutely wrong time to be online.
As i could practically do nothing because of some stupid reasons, i sat reading some blogs of friends and my own old ones.
I realized how life changes every year, how morose and moronic we get day by day, and we see it prominent only at the end of each year.
As though i have had nothing useful to write, as though nothing good is happening around me, as though life was just of sorrows, i had abandoned this space.
Thanks to nandhini, i realized that i can bring about something good out of nothing.
And oh speaking about nothing.. its an annoying word that i come across, and use. Nothing to listen, nothing to talk, nothing to write. This was not how i was few years back.
So now on you shall have entertaining (atleast worth wasting time) posts here.
Good night for now, and lets begin tomorrow with inspirations!

The ado thinks again

Just like every adolescent (yeah.. no longer a teenager, yet an ado. concepts suck), i ve been wanting to get out, and find "freedom". yet, oh what a lazy bum i am (yet to upload the post i had written two days back!)
But anyways, life/world doesn't stop or take a break or chill coz i am doing either one or all of them.

Having lamented the fact that i had been jobless, or facing several problems, i was advised, and motivated to face it, and give it a try.
Well i did what i was asked to do. I faced it, gave it a try, and felt like a queen seeing the results(oh speaking of results, i have finished B1. felicitez- moi :P ). Giving it a try, i decided i could try making an attempt to move out of the city and start a whole new professional life.So i tried my luck in different cities. and realized something just yesterday.
so here is what happened: i went to the hi tech city . i ve always loved going there and i never miss a chance to get there. its a part of the city which is well developed and vivante (uh.. i think it is vivacious in English) of all the things for one to like the place. I m now not bothered about how cultural it is. Its a corporate world and it explains a lot. I had something to do there, and had to find my way to get a bus to reach home. in order to do that, i walked for a few kilometers (all this happened coz i had the mood, and the place is really good for a walk)
all my way back, i was wondering, what is not here that i have to run elsewhere in a search? As of now, i seem contended with what is available in Hyderabad and the need to run away is not as much as it was. Nevertheless, i would not mind experiencing new hi tech cities later in life :P

Here is a french saying which goes so well to what i m going through now: Liberté n'existe pas, independence quelque fois, solitude toujours! 

Inge Brahmanan

I have earlier written here "enge Brahmanan" (Where is the brahmin), and today i write "Inge Brahmanan" (Heres the brahmin).
I am elated to present Sri Vittaldas, an aspiring brahmin who wished to build a temple for the lord he worships.
Although i dont know much about him, there are some interesting and inspiring aspects of this person. This person is a brahmin, and collects funds to build the temple. To do this within the rules laid by brahminism, he collects funds by performing bhajans throught the country. He has never gone out of the country. He says that although he could potentially earn lots more than what he can within the country, he has decided not to step out in order to maintain the integrity of his ancestors. And adhering to so many such rules, he has collected funds to build a massive temple for his God. He had visited Hyderabad for a whole week to collect funds to finish the construction. The temple is at govindapuram, Kumbakonam district, and is bigger than the actual Vittal Temple in Pandarpur. He has been singing bhajans making us feel relaxed and energized throught the week, and doing some preaching in the most hilarious way possible.
Yesterday, (UNFORTUNATELY) the bhajans were amazing, and i missed it. the first day of the bhajan, i stopped clapping when my palms started aching, the next day, i stopped after my forearms started aching, the next day when my entire arm started aching, and then, i did not stop clapping even if it hurt me. As a matter of fact, i enjoyed it when i was clapping so hard. Yesterday it went so ecstatic that the musicians were also enthusiastic that the tabla tore.
And he has been doing all this in hyderabad inspite of ill health.
This man maintains the essence of brahminism and yet keeps himself updated of modern developments and employing them ideally in life.
I am proud to be a brahmin, and proud to say that the ideal brahmin lives even in the Kalyuga.

What does the dad of a 3 year old do?

I see many things a day that interest me. Some are just so beautiful / amazing that I d like to write in the blog. But about 90% of the times, I am distracted by some annoying forces. And only 1 % of the things make it to the blog.

Today is one such day. I’ve been horribly disturbed. In fact this disturbance has been there since last night which did not end very well today.

Now, I’ve decided, that I will be the one who d put the actual end, I also decided that I shall not let be impedance in not letting me put this interesting thing here.

I came across an article which says that children say “my father goes to office” not knowing what exactly the man does. Very small kids sure do that, but the older ones saying that is sad and rather alarming as to where the society is going!

But by the end of it, I was reminded as to what I knew about my dad and how I could tell about his work.

When I was a really young kid, my dad was a successful industrialist. So he would go to the office to handle the administration and to the factory to handle the manufacture. Every Thursday the laborers were given their weekly off in the factory (and Thursday was a day in my school where we did not have homework. This was till class 7 or 8. So I loved Thursdays all the more)

So I had another place to tell people. I d tell “my dad goes to office and factory, What about yours?” and people used to follow up with my parents on that for further clarification. Then at one time, my mom decided to enlighten me about what exactly my dad does. So in her story she told even about what the “often seen” staff did. [This all happened when I was somewhere around 3 or 4 years] The story ended with “so after doing all these things (of which I understood NOTHING), daddy gets money to buy you things from the shop.” [I must give her the due credits, that this story of hers helped me understand the circular flow of money in economics, macro and micro economics well even before it was a part of my syllabus when I started growing]

Then on, whenever anyone asked me as to what my father did, I started telling “he makes money”

If I heard any kid saying that today, I d appreciate that kid, as money is THE thing for which one works. But the sad thing was that, people reported this to my parents appreciating me, and it rang their bells. They thought that if this continued, people would think he was a manufacturer or fake notes or gets money by forming some mafia gang secretly. Apparently there were some scams of that sort happening, and they didn’t want to get in trouble for not doing it.

I can never forget that night. I was put between both my parents in the bed, and the whole night, I was not allowed to sleep, but was bombarded with lessons, that I shouldn’t tell things of that sort coz some nasty folks would think of it otherwise. This lecture followed with another teaching me how to actually respond to such questions. This continued till I got into the auto where I was again asked “what would you tell if someone asked you this?”

Asking a 3 or 4 year old sound odd to me, and I m not very happy about this habit of the elders. Asking family details to kids is really dangerous.  More than that I would say it is something of a criminal motive to encash the fact that a child is excited to talk out what it sees at home, and learns from places, and it hasn’t yet learnt how to lie.

The Kite Runner

This is surely inspired by the book of Khaled Hosseini vaguely. But i wanted to write on this on seeing the way things have changed over the years.

When we were kids, Sankranti  was an event where all cousins would meet up. Seeing each other and flying kites were the only things which made us anticipate it for a whole year. Cracker session for diwali was a formality but not something that we used to do together every year. The food would have "sakra pongal" which the entire crowd of my generation unanimously detest and we d sit having lunch hoping we had something else to eat. Dinner would generally be good. But everyone would be so engrossed with flying kites all day and night.

The entire family loved flying kites. The elders had their head to lead the flying kites, we had one too. Me and another cousin, being the youngest of the lot were generally kite runners. I dont remember launching a kite and let it rise high, but i always loved cheering the elders and shouting out "AFFFAAA".

Its been a few years since we flew kites or even met. Everyone is engrossed in their own work. Work makes people boring themselves, and they even forget things that give them pleasure.

Last year when we met, everyone were talking about those nostalgic moments when we d enjoy flying kites, making manja,  criticizing the menu for the lunch, but enjoying the dinner, and having great fun by organizing some games instantaneously. And that time, we were just talking about it and not doing anything. Everyone went back saying " i have work tomorrrow", i went back saying " i have college tomorrow". Nobody made an attempt to stay back. If there were atleast one person who wanted to live that moment again, we could have. But no one did even though we were offered an extra ransom pay if we flew kites. I mean how depressing we become on growing up, that we dont want to enjoy ourselves even if we are paid for it. Morose isnt it?
So.. neither the ones of my generation, nor the elders went anywhere near the stairs to venture to even see any kites. It was further annoying that the number of kites in the sky were lesser than there were when i was a kid. 

So.. This year, i decided to fly kites with friends. I learnt that all my friends were enthusiastic about flying kites.  Since i wanted to have a promotion from kite running to actual flying, i thought i d learn from them, and surprisingly none of them know to fly kites either!
 
Heres a copy paste of what one of my friend wrote on his facebook. :

#17mm aerodynamically designed maxi kites-check!
#70 gitty Old city glass coated razor sharp extra tensile fiber paakeza manja-check!
#Corosion free steel Charka with an almost infinite moment of inertia-check!
#Super energetic kids to hold the charka, cheer & scream so loud tht it grabs all the attenntion of the chics & their frens in ...the nxt building-check!
Now somebody teach me who to fly tht fckin kite:P

But honestly, if those days come back, or new beautiful days come, i d love to be the kite runner if not fly them.

People

Following a nasty event in the month of december with a wannabe american who really messed up with me, I had people messing up my sankranti which seems to show some effect throughout the year which promises to take some devastating steps.

I then decided to classify people in various categories and found maximum entries in the following:

1. I better stay away from you
2. I dont care anymore
3. I hate you.

Well... these are not the ONLY categories.. there are also categories like
Adorable, Respectable, Worth remembering, Entertaining etc.

Life is showing me things!